alone

Based on the poem I wrote recently that was inspired by what’s going on in the lives of people who are very dear to me.

model: Penelope Grace
concept, painting, photo, digital manipulation: Danny Setiawan

—————————————————–

no one understands me
no one feels my pain
no one can help me carry this burden
I have to keep on going…
…
alone
…
…
…
alone I came to this world
everything that has a beginning has an end
no one stays forever
every single one of them will leave me
sooner or later
whether they choose to or life choose them to
in the end
I’ll be alone

I will always be alone
I better get used to
this silence
this coldness
this pain
…
…
…
but, no

NO!
I shall not pity myself
I shall not be the victim
I shall not drown in my own tears

I have to hide my pain
I have to be strong
I have to keep on smiling

even though my heart is
hurting
crying
bleeding

NO!
I can’t let them see my bruises
i can’t let them see my cracks
I can’t let them see my tears

I am okay
I am strong
I am reliable

because they need me to be all that

I can’t fail them
I can’t let them down
I must be strong for them

maybe that’s what love is all about
maybe that’s what love is
but now I can’t tell you that I feel it
because my heart can’t feel anything anymore

but that doesn’t really matter
it’s not important
since in the end
after all has been said and done
after I make sure everyone around me smiles

I’ll be here

alone.